Slightly off

XRAY 2011The first time was back in 2011, which we thought I was having a stroke, but it wasn’t. I remember there were going to give me that stroke medicine and if it wasn’t a stroke then my outcome wouldn’t be that great. I refused even unaware of my condition. I knew it wasn’t right.

That time I would have “zombie modes” as my sister would call it, just star out there, tears falling and just locked up, but came too after a couple of minutes. I couldn’t walk and that was extremely frustrating to me. After a day I was pretty much back to normal mobility-wise… mentally was a totally different thing. You can do everything automatically but when asked to do something and you have to think about the process it is extremely difficult. That I feel is the cognitive part of your brain. So something snapped, a neuron got de-wired or something. Trying to reach for the salt shaker when I had to but could reach it when I didn’t. Three months long trying to get back into the “normal mental thinking”.

Than an “AHAH” moment.. Tara, bought me Xbox box and Gears of War… really didn’t play too much at first, but once I started to play, my head felt like it was rewiring… and the next day… my cognitive was back.  So I wanted to thank the makers of Gears of War for creating a game my sister loves so much to have bought Xbox and the GOW series for me to play with her.

I have yet to play… this issue is different.

I first started the morning with being really dizzy.. but shook it off.. I went to work, normally… then when to the bathroom, washed my hands and leaned up against the wall and just got locked. I couldn’t take the two steps to open the door. I yelled and yelled for what it seemed like hours. Finally Nicole came and saw me.

Same question about the stroke medicine.. I refused.. the doctor even asked why.. I just kept saying no… I knew this wasn’t a stroke… I know my body. However this was totally different. I had feeling in my arms and legs, the other time I didn’t… but I couldn’t move. I would get stuck for a couple of minutes  and pull out of it. Too many questions and people got me really frustrated and confused, I would get stuck.

MRI 2011
MRI 2011

More tests and blood work.. Thyroid off.. high cholesterol.. and confirmation about Degenerative Disc Disease, which Tylenol helps for that pain.

How is more of the main question here.. How did I get this. There could be a link to head trauma going back to when I was a kid, falling from a high dive and landing face down on the concrete. Luckily I had my life preserver on that protected a huge part of my impact.

During an MRI, head to lumbar, hours to do both scans, with/without contrast…I didn’t make it half way through until I got so freaked out… and when into a silent seizure when she pulled me out. She didn’t know anything about what was going on with me. So the nurse came down and wanted to give me something they give seizure patients.. 2 oz of this stuff I said no.. give me 1/2 of the 1/2.  So after just that little bit I could move my arms and legs.. it was so free and I was so happy… I am horrified about what would of happen if I took all of that doze. I know I am a lightweight.. so it is important to KNOW YOUR BODY.

So right now.. I am on seizure medicine.. low dose.. I am not a pill person. Yuck.. but I know I have to learn how to do things differently now… Being ADHD (not professionally diagnosed but pretty damn obvious) and with the seizure medicine calming me down brings a new challenge for me. So I have to work around both to become comfortable.

A path…

While I was waiting to get taken down to get my MRI done, here walks through the door, Chris. Chris I knew from meeting him when he played for the Brooksville Ballers. It was a total surprise to see him. When he brought me back to my room, now Chris is a religious person, I have respect for that, but I asked him what he wanted to do, he replied what ever “HE” wants me to do.. I again asked him, and same replied.. but when I looked at him in the eyes, and still now thinking about it, I sense that he was lost and mislead.. I can still see his eyes…. so lost…

What I learned….

I know my body and my limitations… I know that ER and ICU units are excellent, but regular hospital stays are terrible. ( I don’t know if they are understaffed or what… but patient care beyond the ER is more vital than anything. I could of had another episode and no one would know it… started iv.. took it out for MRI but never put it back in? Oxygen tube, I took off and fell to the floor and no one picked it up or noticed..  the lady next to me was on the bed pan for  over 20 minutes waiting to be helped. It needs to improve or there will is going to be more and more liability on the hospitals and nursing staff. ( Never did get my Tylenol (neither did my roommate).. even though I was looking at the suppository on the rollaway table, I could of cared less if it was up my butt or not…) How many people die because of this… and now waiting over 3 weeks to months for a Doctor visit? How much paperwork is wrong.. misdiagnosed.. even my medication was written/prescribed wrong… ( Thank you to the CVS pharmacist that checked into that..) Who is going to fix this?

I will learn more about this.. what I don’t want to happen is not being able to be me… Still working on getting full sentences out, I still have my sense of humor and fell in love with my husband even more… And I know I am going to make it to the first game of the season. I have to reach for that. Being in the league is so important to me… it’s my purpose… my path.


Thank you to everyone that has sent thoughts and prayers… there are appreciated more than you can imagine.




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